Where Is Brian?
This is the true story (a recording of events) of how a child can be "taken" by a parent and "hidden" from the other parent for 48 days. This is the record of our thoughts, feelings and actions during these 48 days and beyond. Please keep in mind that this is OUR story and as such is colored by our feelings and thoughts.
The Phone Calls
For the next 43 days contacting Brian was next to impossible. I managed to call the other grandparent's place and talk to Brian once during this time. My daughter managed a bit better than I, but not much better. The following is a record of phone call attempts made by my daughter. Remember that this is a record of the entire 48 days of attempting to contact her son. During this entire period of time there were numerous incidents of harassment, a multitude of legalities to deal with, as well as the constant worry that Brian had been taken out of state when phone contact was broken for an extended period of time.
Mom's Record of Attempts to Contact her Son
4/05 The end of a marriage. The beginning of the 48 days of attempting to see my son. After Brian's dad was taken to jail for criminal damages I called my in-laws (his parent's) but was told they had not seen Brian since Sunday on 4/02.
4/06 At jail (for the criminal damages hearing of Brian's father) The grandfather (my husbands dad) again stated that he did not know where Brian was. Called brother-in-law and left message on answering machine. There was no call back.
4/08 Called The grandparent's. Asked to see Brian. Was told that we we would have to have a mediator first.
4/09 Called The grandparent's. The grandmother stated Brian was with them and then let me talk to him for a short time before she interrupted on another phone yelling about the way I was reassuring my son that he would be home soon. She said that I should be telling Brian that I AM ON VACATION.
4/10 Called The grandparent's and talked to Brian. Brian said, "Mommy, you're upsetting me. You want another man and don't love Daddy." I told Brian, "Mommy and Daddy aren't getting along and all that matters is that I love you."
4/11 Called The grandmother to see Brian. The grandmother told me, "Well, it will have to be arranged through the lawyers."
4/12 Called and talked to Brian. Asked if he wanted me to have Jimmy and Johnny (his friends) call him. He became very excited and said, "Yes! I want to talk to Jimmy and Johnny." In the background I heard The grandfather say, "NO!" Someone then grabbed the phone from Brian and Brian began to cry. Then The grandmother got on the phone and said, "You're upsetting him!" and then hung up the phone. I attempted to call back but no one would answer the phone.
4/13 Called to talk to Brian at 7:30 p.m. Left message. Called again at 8:45. Calls were not returned.
4/14 The grandmother left message on my answering machine. Called. No one answered. Left message. Call was not returned.
4/15 Called at 6:20 p.m. The grandmother said Brian was sleeping. Called at 6:45 p.m. The grandmother said he's still sleeping. Asked when he would be up and she said, "Whenever he's awake!" and she hung up on me.
4/16 Left message on The grandparent's answering machine for Brian.
It's now been 4 days since I have even talked to Brian.
Brian returned the call at 7 p.m. and he told me he misses home, misses me. I heard Brian's father say in the background, "You can't go home because there is another man there." Brian repeats this to me on the phone and I said to him, "No. Brian that is not true." Brian shouts at his father, "Mommy said, 'NO!'" Then Brian's father grabbed the phone and called me a "B...." (female dog ) and hung up the phone.
4/17 Left message for Brian. No return phone call.
4/18 Left message for Brian. No return phone call.
I have not seen Brian for 14 days now.
4/19 Recorded phone conversation taken from the answering machine. Attachment #1.
Daughter left message on The grandparents answering machine. "Yeah. Brian just called to talk to me and I am home."
Daughter, calling later the same day: It's 7:55. Calling to say 'hello' to my son who I haven't seen for two weeks."
The grandmother: "Just a moment please. Just a moment please. Brian, It's mommy. Do you want to talk to mommy?"
The grandfather in the background: "What?"
Daughter: "Hi, Brian!"
Daughter: "How are you?"
Brian: "I ... I'm doing finger painting."
Daughter: "You're doing finger paintings? Are you making me a picture?"
Brian: "Ummmmmm. No."
Daughter: "Just making a picture?"
Brian: "Oh, yeah, I did."
Daughter: "Well, good. I miss you, honey."
Brian: "I miss you too." (Brian's voice starts to break when he says this.)
Daughter: "I want you to come home."
Brian: "Okay." (Low, sad voice)
Daughter: "You need to tell them you gotta go home."
Daughter: "You have to tell them you gotta go home, honey."
Daughter: "I love you."
Brian: "I love you. ..............Bye" ................ "Hey! Hey! .......... (Sound of phone hanging up)
4/20 Recorded on daughter's answering machine. Attachment #2.
Daughter: "How are you?"
Brian: "Ummmmm .... I .... I got popcorn."
Daughter: "You got popcorn?"
Daughter: "Will you ask Grandma and Grandpa if I can come over and get you?"
Daughter: "Will you ask Grandma and Grandpa if I can come and get you?"
Brian: "Yeah. ................."
Daughter: "Are you there?"
Daughter: "I would like to ask them if I can come and get you. Okay, honey?"
Daughter: "I miss you baby. Now hand them .............."
Brian: "A ....... Mommy says ....... uh ...... she want to pick me up over here."
Brian: (Brian says something that is too low to hear)
Grandmother: (In the background) "Tell her no."
Brian: "No. I want mommy to come and get me."
Words in background too low to hear.
Brian: "No. And after that and then ..... I'm ....... then I'm gonna go with my mommy." After that .....
Grandmother: "No. You can't come over and pick him up. So don't start that!"
Daughter: "That's my son. I haven't seen him for over two weeks."
Grandmother: "When the attorney's work it out then you'll be able to see him and take him home."
Daughter: "You're de ..... You're totally depriving me of my right to see my son." ...................... "Hello?"
Grandfather: "You work out those criminal charges. Okay."
(I had been told before by both grandparents that I could see Brian after I dropped Brian's dad's criminal damage charges, which I was not allowed to do according to the court system.)
Phone hangs up
4/21 Called and left a message for Brian to call me. No one returned my call.
4/22 Called to talk to Brian at noon and again at 4 p.m. Calls not returned.
19 days since I have seen Brian.
4/24 Recorded on answering machine. Attachment #3
Conversation starts after the grandfather has answered the phone and daughter asks to speak to Brian.
Daughter: "He's not there?"
The grandfather: "No. He's with his Daddy."
Daughter: "He's ..... Where at? Do you know?"
The grandfather: "No, I don't know. I'm here all by myself."
Daughter: "And you don't know where Brian's at?"
The grandfather: "No. Why?"
Daughter>: "Because I would like to talk to him."
The grandfather: "Well, what's been going on?"
Daughter: "I'd just like to talk to my son. You don't know where he's at?"
The grandfather: "He's not here."
Daughter: "Okay. Thank you."
4/24 Called Brian's father's place of business and the grandparents place. Left messages. No one returned calls.
Recorded 4-25-1995. Attachment #4.
Brian's father: "Place of Business."
Brian's father: "Hi."
Daughter: "Where's Brian at?"
Brian's father: "He's with me. You're not supposed to be talking to me.
(Phone hangs up)
Daughter calls Brian's fathers place of business again.
Brian's father: "Place of Business."
Daughter: "I want to know where my son is."
Brian's father: "He's with me."
Daughter: "Down there at the shop?"
Daughter: "At the shop?"
Brian's father: "I don't have to tell you a d..n thing. Talk to your f.......... lawyer. I'll see your a.. in court."
(Phone is hung up)
4/26 Called to talk to Brian. Left message on answering machine. No return call.
4/28 Called to talk to Brian. Left message on answering machine. No return call.
430 Left message at 9:40 p.m. No return call.
10 days have past since I last talked to my son and 27 days since I have seen my son.
5/01 Recorded. Attachment #5.
(Recorder starts after the grandmother answers the phone and daughter asks where Brian is.)
Daughter: "You can't ......... you don't know where he's living or you won't tell me where ..... where he's living or where Brian's at?"
The grandmother: "Yes. I know where they are at."
Daughter: "Do you think ......."
The grandmother: "And they are both fine."
Daughter: "Do you think you are gaining anything by this?"
Daughter: "But you have kept him away from his mother."
The grandmother: "I'm not keeping him away from you. You're keeping yourself away from him."
Oh sure! ... The phone calls that were never returned, the many many attempts just to see her son, the phone calls asking to see her son ..... and yet, my daughter is "keeping herself away from him." (Sorry, I didn't mean to blast away like that! I will attempt to keep my feelings and thoughts out of here and just record events.)
Daughter: "You're crazy. You're absolutely crazy!"
The grandmother: "No. ........... No .........
Daughter: "You cannot take a child away from his mother ......
The grandmother: "I'm not taking him away from you......"
Daughter: ".........and expect ...... and expect it to be okay. You know how ....... he's ........
The grandmother: "He's what?"
Daughter: "You're crazy to think that you can do this and get away with it."
The grandmother: "I am not doing anything to your son, my dear. You're doing this to yourself."
Daughter: "No, I'm not."
The grandmother: "Oh yes. If you'd wanted to see Brian all you have to do is call the attorney ......."
Daughter: "Oh, I want to see my son."
The grandmother: "All you have to do is have the ........."
Daughter: "Yeah. And HIS will not agree to anything."
The grandmother: "No. Not for YOU to have everything that YOU want."
Daughter: "Yeah. And not for Dan to have everything that he wants. He wants to take everything away from me PLUS my son. I don't think so. So you won't tell me where he's living ..... or where my son is?"
The grandmother: "Ask your attorney!"
Daughter: "Oh, I have. Do you think He knows?"
The grandmother: "Well, he could find out real easy." (Phone hangs up.)
5/07 It's been 15 days since I have talked to Brian.
Brian's father called. During the conversation he said, "This does weird thing to you. It messes you up". He said, "I'm out of control." He admitted to unscrewing the sensor lights but denied taking Brian's missing bike. Brian's father let Brian talk to me briefly. Brian said, "Mommy, I love you but I don't want to come home." I said, "Brian, you don't have to come home but I'd like you to. It's still your room and all your things are there." Brian said "Yeah." I said, "Don't you want to come home?" He said softly, "Yeah!" Brian then said he had been "riding my bike from Christmas" (the missing bike). Brian's father took the phone away from Brian and threatened me "You're not going to stay in that house. I'll see to it".
5/14(Recorded on Daughter's answering machine) Attachment #6.
Brian: "I love you"
The grandmother: (In the background) "Happy Mother's Day."
Brian: "Happy Mother's Day." ......... (Then very frustrated) "She didn't even hear me!"
Phone hangs up.
IT'S BEEN 41 DAYS SINCE I HAVE SEEN MY 4 YEAR OLD SON.
5/14/95 Called the grandparents. Got answering machine. Left message. No one called back.
Called birth father. Asked him to attempt to get a call through and ask if I could talk to my son. He left message. No one called back.
An update on this record typed for the court.
From the very brief conversation my daughter had with her son on 5/7 it will be a total of 14 days before she will talk to him again. Not because she did not try to talk to him and to see him..but because she was deliberately NOT allowed to. This deliberate withholding of Brian from my daughter seems to have been an attempt to control her. It was stated to her by both the grandmother and the grandfather that in order to "see" her son, she would have to in some manner have the court drop all criminal damage charges against Brian's father. (This was not possible to do.)
The meaning of the word "hostage" is " A person given or held as a pledge until specified conditions are met, as in war."
The meaning of the word "pawn" is "Any insignificant person used at another's will" or "One who or that which serves as security."
It is my opinion that for 48 days Brian was held a hostage and a pawn in order to attempt to force my daughter to drop criminal damages charges filed by the court against Brian's father. Brian was not allowed to go home. He was not allowed to speak to his friends by telephone. He was not allowed to speak to his mother on the phone for weeks at a time. He was NOT allowed to see his mother during this 48 days. Brian was used as a pawn and a hostage.
Index for Where is Brian?* 1. - Brian, the beginning * 2. - Contact * 3. - Phone calls *
* 4. - Coming next ... The Curious Car Caper *
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